All the World is a Stage and we- we, are merely players

 What role will I play when life has ended and my story remains as my legacy?  One of my favorite things to read is biographies.  I very much enjoy reading about people.  When I was in High School, I was either in the Band room or in the Library.  I didn't do sports in High School although I was very physically active, growing up in the country and on a farm.  I rode my bike, danced, hunted, fished...but in school the social stigma of being in a club or group stressed me out- still does.  Band was something I fell into (or was pushed by my father).  But I digress.  I enjoy Bio's of all types of people from the simplest person to the most interesting man alive!

In high school I would read Bio's of plain people like immigrants who told stories of how it was coming to America and learning how to be an American.  Expanding from there once I was in college, I was fascinated to learn that other cultures held so much diverse and interesting contrast to us here in the states. Some of the things I learned broke my heart.  When we look throughout history, there is a lot of that.  It is hard to reconcile the beauty of humanity with it's cruelty.  The duality can boggle one's mind.

Determining what will be our own legacy after we are gone, is each person's own duty in life.  Some people (like me), give a lot of thought to these things.  Others may not. Every decision I make in life, I am deeply cognizant of the end game and of how it adds to or detracts from my legacy.  I did not come from wealth.  When I say legacy, I do not mean wealth.  It could mean wealth...for some of us.  Some of us however, need to be more creative when building the legacy of what we will achieve and then leave behind.

I have always seen myself as a "Natural Helper".  This term was used on me in High School in the 10th grade and I have felt it deeply ever since.  I was at Ponagansett High School and the school was just introducing counselors and Psychologists.  I guess schools didn't have those prior to the 1990's?  Either way, a survey was done of the whole school, asking the students to name a person that they could always go to for understanding, emotional support or kindness.  These were all of the students from grades 9-12 being asked to nominate one person who fit that description.  Ten names were selected.  My name was one of them.

The new school staff brought our little group together to discuss the importance of being what our classmates deemed "natural helpers", people who just assume the role of being more concerned for their fellow student than the average student was.  I was quite proud although stunned.  I was more popular than I ever knew apparently.  I hid in the library at lunch instead of eating lunch.  I spent all of my free time in the band room.  I was not on student counsel, did not have a large group of friends.  In fact, I had only 3 or 4 real friends that I knew of.  How was I chosen from 350 students as one of ten people that others saw as a confidant in their times of trouble...and as a High School Sophomore???

I will not be able to shed more light on it because I simply do not know.  I will never know. But in the course of my life from age 16 to age 46, I have continued to be that.  To this day, people seek me out for support, friendship, a kind word.  I am a magnet for those in need of such things.  I must acknowledge it.  I must recognize it because if I do not...if I cannot honestly and openly admit, that others are somehow drawn to me for healing, I cannot effectively write my legacy!

Helper

Healer

Support person

Mother

Friend

These are some of the key words in my legacy.  

My shoulders feel heavy as a pause and look at this list.  This is not the list I want to write.  

Here is the legacy I wanted:

Superstar

Singer

Beautiful

Famous

Writer

Brilliant Mind

Fans all over the world

As you can see, my ego has different ideas of what a Legacy should amount to.  So how do I know if I am "Living it right?" in the words of John Mayer?  No one really gives you a rule book for how to measure this progress.  You have to go with your gut or something else that is measurable.  This I believe, begins with acceptance of your own gifts and talents, and then the decision to use them.  I have some of the gifts in the 2nd list...and in the past I have used them.  But the first list is not just stuff I can do...it represents what I am on a deep level. I am a being of Light and Love.  Like my name sake implies...a messenger (of God/dess).  

You cannot fulfill your destiny if you refuse to accept what you came here to do.  This is what I have learned in 46 years of life.

In the end (of our life), it may not be what we did for a career that is the legacy.  I have been reading a lot of Obituaries lately, which is sad because the reason is due to deaths from Covid-19.  More and more I am hearing about how a person is not defined by what they did for a profession, but being described by the kind of person they were to other humans while they were alive.  I hear such phrases as "his family meant everything to him" and "he was always helping"... and these types of words give real quality descriptions to an otherwise flat person. People are not 2 dimensional...they are multifaceted and I am glad that human beings are starting to realize that the spiritual value of a person matters.  Their kindness matters.  Their impact on people, no matter who small, matters.

Buddhists do not walk on grass.  They do not walk on the grass because they feel that the ants lives matter.

Vegans eat no animal products because Animal's lives matter.

Black Lives Matter

all of the groups who would be victimized...their lives matter.

This year I really want to cement in some changes that have been brewing within me for a while...but when I say cement, I mean bring into the tangible form.  I often think of these things, especially when January 1st rolls around and everyone starts to talk about New Year's Resolutions.  It is mostly the fear of failing that stops me.  I am brave for others but not always for myself.

2020 however, turned my world on it's head and I have a new (upside down??) perspective.  Maybe up is down and down is up and in is out...and so on.  Maybe my ideas that once seemed absurd are actually quite practical.  Maybe instead of feeling behind in the game, I am at the front of the pack and leading the call?  Maybe my ideas need to be heard instead of quietly forgotten?

I stumbled across a French movie yesterday about a man who in 1859, risked his reputation as a Professor to establish the validity of Spiritism.  His name was Allan Kardec.  Even I had never heard of him until yesterday and those of you who know me, know that I am fairly well-read on these topics.  Kardec overcame his fears of being ousted from Society, and ruining his standing as a professor, when he and his wife began to research the Psychic Phenomena that were happening in their community and use his scholarly reputation to establish scientific proof of it's existence.  Amazing.  Think about that...in the dark ages of thinking and JUST a decade and a half before the real emergence of "New Thinkers" in the world, Kardec was "tapped" by spirit to bring the very foreign idea of universal intelligence, to people of France (under Bonaparte's reign too!!)

The spirits that compelled him told him that this would take all he had- his reputation, his wealth and his health.  If he refused to do it, another would rise in time and do it...he did not HAVE TO be the one.  He chose to do it anyway.

Brilliant Movie, found it on Netflix.  It's called "Kardec" if you want to watch it.

It is people like Kardec and his wife, that I long to emulate.   I don't relish it but I admire the passion it takes to be different.  The older I get, the more different I become.  I feel very dissimilar to most people that I meet and yet I feel deep compassion for their pain and suffering.  I want to help...want to make it easier somehow.  I want them to understand what I understand about spirit, about the afterlife.  Many people don't know what to think...and yet I am overwhelmed with confidence.  I want to share that.

I hope that I will establish what I plan to create this year.  I feel inspired by the change of Leadership coming to the White House soon and I feel that with the Covid-19 innoculations beginning, change is inevitably upon us...change for the better.

~Namaste

Lilac