Episode Three in my written series about Love and how love has changed me, is about my husband. I cannot hide that it is my husband so hopefully I can do justice to the relationship.
In every person's life there comes a time to make a choice on one person and to make a life together. Actually...is that even true? Maybe it's not this way for EVERY person...but for those who seek and find love and want marriage and families, then it is definitely a part of their journey.
My marriage journey began in 2016 when against all odds, I married my best friend Jamie. I won't be changing his name for privacy because, well...there is no privacy!
Of all of my Episodes of Love, the Marriage relationship is by far the most important one. You see, before and then during a marriage, there is work. This is the part that most romantics will not enjoy...and I spent my life as a hopeless romantic...chasing people, chasing feelings, being swayed every which way. Facing disappointments and sadness all the time. In an ironic twist, at the tail end of a year of life-coaching, I concluded with marrying Jamie. We had gone around and around on it for years. We finally tied the knot.
Episode three has a fairly simple message:
1. FEAR of allowing another person to love you and truly know you and really be there for you, will prevent you from experiencing Real Love. At some point, you take the leap and you trust that your partner means what they say and that they act out their truth. In short, you have to trust that your Lover, loves themselves!
2. I knew that I needed to marry Jamie and so I did. We were both certain that this was our destiny. Together we form a complete protein! Neither one of us is somehow incomplete without the other. We are both capable of taking care of our own selves with or without the other person. But together, we saw that we were stronger.
3. Learning and Growth happen within a marriage. It was not entirely clear at the time that we married one another, what we would grow to learn together as a couple and as a family...but those lessons most assuredly presented themselves. Some of those lessons nearly destroyed us as a couple. But it didn't. We got stronger as we learned to overcome and push through and find our ways back to one another.
4. Love endures. If you think you cannot go through the worst of the worst with a partner and survive, I think it's not true. I think you can. You can exercise love like a muscle. It is alive after all. Give people room to show you what is in their hearts. Give it time to grow.
I hope Episode Three's lesson on marriage gives you hope if yours is in a dark place. Not everyone should stay married, but everyone should recognize what kind of a marriage they are in and check in with themselves about how they are doing.
~Namaste
Lilac
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